Madison Grace

An update and her name

So since the whole Tulsa fiasco so much has gone on in our house so I will do my best to try to recap quickly! However, pregnant brain is REAL these days so I will do my best to remember! HA!

I will say there have been many highs and lows for sure. The boys are going through the “terrible twos” – I would rather call it “twin nuclear warfare” but it’s really whatever floats your boat. It’s probably the combination of my ever growing belly and the sense of change coming around the house and just GROWING UP, but OH MY GOODNESS I’m in no condition for warfare right now.

Since I last wrote, Nick and I had our first garage sale. That was fun and a long day. We didn’t make a ton but enough and best of all, we got RID of stuff! We donated quite a bit of what we didn’t sell to Goodwill. We will be trying to sell the rest of the stuff that we have at the Fort Bend Parents of Multiples Buy/Sell in August. I know, I know. So close to my due date but you can still dream. 🙂 If you haven’t ever come to the sale, you should! If you are a parent of ANY CHILD looking to not pay for clothes with your arm and leg – this is the place to be! There is so much there for new parents or even seasoned parents. It’s not just for parents of multiples and it’s open to the PUBLIC! Nick and I have gotten so many clothes for the boys there that would cost us HUNDREDS of dollars at any store. So if you want any information about where and when this takes place, LET ME KNOW!

 

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I also had another important doctor’s appointment with the Maternal Fetal Medicine specialists and my OB. It’s usually an exhausting week when I have those appointments – lots of emotions and uncertainty! If you missed my Facebook LIVE after my specialist appointment feel free to check it out! I was a bawling baby but I was so happy to know the sub-chronic hematoma was no longer visible. My last two appointments, I definitely had happy news. The only real thing lingering that won’t go away and could potentially get worse is my marginal cord insertion. However, at this point, the baby girl is growing great despite that!

The boys are also getting really fun. I wish it was not coupled with the nuclear warfare but it is what it is. It’s part of them figuring out what they can do and NOT do. But they are also so funny. I can’t wait to actually understand what they are saying. We are having a lot of conversation about many things, I’m sure.  Many times they say a TON and are super serious about it too. It’s so cute but also so comical. Ha ha!

Along with some major highs, I’ve definitely experienced some major lows. For me, it’s stress related (sometimes tears). I know having a girl growing inside of me has really rocked my world the last few weeks. The emotional roller coaster has been INSANE! I’m sure everyone around me has felt it. So I tried to relax in a bath and that was a disaster. Did you miss that post? Honestly, baths are stupid. I really don’t understand them. I KNOW I am not “doing them right” but how can one mess up bubbles and water? Plus, I’m so huge at this point, that my regular shower tub doesn’t allow for a full submersion that I probably needed. And apparently, I need a bath pillow. What is that anyway? I mean, these days, I sleep with at least 5 king sized pillows and my pregnancy pillow so you would think I would be all in for this bath tub pillow but that just seems weird to me. I tried to have fun (hence the boat picture) and “figure it out” but it didn’t work. I’ll probably try again in 5 years – that’s about how often I attempt these things.

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Next up is vacation! Ladies and gentlemen, that is for an entire blog post on it’s own! So stay tuned for a vacation post soon! I will say I have never been so exhausted from a vacation in my entire life.

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So, let’s get to the point of the point: Madison Grace Webking

Is it a family name? Nope. Unless there is something I don’t know.

How did you come up with the name? Frankly, Madison was named by her daddy. Nick and I had been thinking of names for awhile. Well, let me back up!

We were initially going to WAIT to find out the gender until delivery BUT when we had all the scary stuff happen at 16 weeks, my heart couldn’t take it. I needed to know in case, well, to be honest, in case we had to bury this baby. 

Fast forward. We liked Madison almost instantly. It was like love at first sight. It was awesome. But I was hesitant about liking her name so fast. I don’t know why. There is just one baby (unlike the last time) and so naming HER is so final to me. Nick and I had the names of the boys by mid-pregnancy BUT we didn’t actually name the boys until we saw them. I had an idea of who would take each name but I didn’t have to make that decision until we saw them! So this time it’s so different for me mentally. Anyway, it’s probably silly but it is what it is. Her middle name, Grace, honestly came from Google. Haha! We knew we wanted a shorter middle name because it just sounded better with Madison. We did have an initial list of names from when we were pregnant with the boys and had revisited it several times this pregnancy but nothing really stood out. Madison wasn’t even on the list. We came across Ryan, Kate and Grace and liked them all. We love Ryan for a girl or boy name but just didn’t work well with Madison – we thought. We were left with Kate and Grace. We were loving both. However, Grace was also a practical choice. Almost verbatim Nick says “I think we should pick Grace because we are going to need it when she comes.” So there you have it! Her beautiful name. I can’t wait to meet her.

Here’s to Madison Grace,

Rachel

P.S. Another blog post coming up are my thoughts on the NICU – lately my mind has been fearing the NICU experience again. So stay tuned. It’s coming soon.

While not in Tulsa…

So the week arrived that I was supposed to be heading to Tulsa with my book lady friends…. Can your heart just break into pieces every day and then recover only to do it all over again the next day? That’s sort of been my week. I have my moments of being totally consumed by the house “chores” I’ve lined up for myself and activities with the boys and then a post pops up on my newsfeed – well, let’s be real – it’s a lot of posts throughout the day. 😭 Anyway, I’m not going to lie, I’ve been throwing mini pity parties throughout the day, every day, this week. I don’t think I could be more excited for a Monday to roll around in my life. But then again, I’m sure it will be “at convention this” “at convention that” “I’m so grateful for convention”…. Sense my bitterness? I’m not hiding it – it totally sucks. Oddly enough, last week I had to reschedule my counseling session due to be sick last week…. When was it rescheduled? Oh just on Wednesday, the day I was supposed to BE IN TULSA – coincidence? Probably not. Did it help? Eh, I’m a work in progress. 😉

ANYWAY, while not in Tulsa I spent Wednesday moving furniture (sliding furniture) and creating a new desk area for myself. I was super inspired after my mom got me rolling on some ideas… I basically worked myself into not being able to walk by the end of the evening. I made a ton of progress though 🙌🏻. Creating a desk space was one of the biggest things on my list to check off. It’s pretty much done! It’s not completely what I envisioned BUT it uses the space well and I don’t have to get any new furniture. We converted our NEVER USED dining table and viola, a desk! As you can see, there is still work to do!

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Wednesday was also a day I realized how much I was missed at convention. I got some messages from some book lady friends saying they were thinking of me and wished I was there. It was super sweet. Bittersweet. But it’s nice to be missed. I specifically found it comical that one of them “brought me along with her.” Definitely thoughtful and hilarious. Let’s see where I have been so far….

Summer took me on a flight (from where? I don’t remember where she lives. Whoops.) I registered for convention with her. I hung out during leader day with some of the ladies. I even shopped at the More Store. I ended the night by having an amazing sangria. (CanNOT wait to get one of those in real life 😉). I think it’s super sweet she took the time to think of this. It’s truly touching! And funny! I even gave her some challenges to meet certain people I would have wanted to meet while I was there. Can’t wait to see if she can do it!

Alright so Thursday, I was basically useless. My body HURT from all my Wednesday avoidance activities. So my mom came over and took the boys out of the house for a few hours. 🙌🏻 They had lunch with Mimi and Papa at Chilis while I ran some errands (baby free!), got my nails done (deluxe and extras included) and hit the Jason’s Deli drive thru to eat lunch on the couch. The boys came home and took a 2 hour nap! 👏🏻👏🏻 It was a pretty glorious day.

I will say that the swelling in my legs – specifically in my ankles and feet – are on the rise. It’s pretty painful and tingles every step. I had this issue with the boys and it significantly got worse after a plane ride to Ohio when I was 25 weeks. Now I’m almost 28 weeks and having this issue again with the girl, I’m sort of thankful for avoiding a plane ride or a long drive. Only SORT OF! 😊

TODAY: We decided to take a pool day. We are going on a small mini vacation to Bastrop with the family (instead of the week long one to Gulf Shores) – my dad rearranged everything for us. How awesome is that? Pretty awesome. So, today’s pool day was to see how the boys would do in the water and what they would need to be safe in it. They loved the water but it was a bit overwhelming for everyone – no worries, Mimi was with us.

So despite my roller coaster of pity parties, I’ve had a pretty good week. The house is getting more put together for the arrival of the baby girl and I’ve been spending some good time with the boys. They are getting more and more fun everyday!

So while it completely sucks I’m not in Tulsa getting all the book lady goodness, I’m okay. I’m OKAY. Everyone is OKAY. The world around us is OKAY. Yes, I’m bitter. But I’m OKAY. And ultimately, at this stage of my pregnancy, I wouldn’t have been able to handle that plane ride or drive. HOWEVER, I am excited to get some time away soon.

So I’ve learned, while not in Tulsa, I’m okay. (Do you think I’ve convinced myself of this yet? 😉) There are much more important things going on for us right now. And more important things for me to mentally deal with. So I’m here, trying to enjoy my extra moments I was given with my boys because I know I’ll never get them back. ❤️

Here’s to not being in Tulsa,

Rachel

Moments

Hold them close

Moments. We all have them multiple times a day. We have good ones and bad ones. Many times we miss moments. We don’t miss them intentionally; it’s really the hustle and bustle of life that causes us to just let them pass by.

Personally, I feel like I’m so busy some days that by the end of the day I don’t even know if I actually SAW my children (even though they were around me all day). Other days, I’m just trying to survive this moment or that moment. Do you ever feel like that? Maybe it’s not with your children but with work or your spouse? When I was teaching, there were definitely days I just trying to survive. It’s honestly DRAINING to stay in survival mode. I absolutely can’t stand those days because I usually feel more exhausted than if I had one full of activities. I don’t want to just survive life, I want to LIVE it. Don’t you? But how do you live every single day IN THE MOMENT? Is it possible? We could all learn to take a step back and “smell the roses” sometimes. It’s so insane how fast time flies, yet, we tend to let a lot of life pass us by. Sounds sad but it’s the truth.

For me, I do wish I was better at living in the moment. There are times I put my phone away or I’m not checking it as much but I could always do better in that department. We probably all could. It’s so easy to drown yourself in mindless searching or reading articles. Then there are times I turn the TV off – I like it for background sound but it tends to even eat up the moments with all the sound, too. Plus, the twins are paying more and more attention to it these days so it’s a good habit to scale back.

The moments I really love watching are the ones where my boys are playing. Now I do mean all 3 of my boys but watching the twins play is becoming more fun too! They are really trying to talk and they crack me up! And of course, they are becoming more fearless – see evidence in the above left picture. They REALLY LIKE READING and lately I’ve been catching them sitting together with a book “reading”. It’s so cute! They also really love telling Dakota she’s a “good gurl” – haha! Oh and they are masters at saying “NO” or “NO WAY!”. But either way, they do keep Nick and I on our toes. We couldn’t have more of a stubborn pair of children but we knew it was going to happen. My guess is that this little girl might be surpassing them all! Stay tuned. 😊 Lately, the boys, specifically David, really hates wearing clothes. It’s either shorts or a shirt or nothing. Tonight, he went to bed in his diaper. I just usually pray I don’t wake up to pee and poop everywhere because they do like to take their diapers off.

Something I really enjoy are those fleeting moments, the ones you miss once you blink but if you catch them they are ingrained in your mind forever. I had one with Andrew today… It was so sweet. I broke down and gave the boys bottles this morning…. A Monday after a week of being sick is pretty slow going… They were drinking them while watching some Fixer Upper (it’s educational, right?) until Andrew just couldn’t calm down. I really don’t know what was going on. He had a BIG quiver lip and I just scooped him up and cradled him in my arms like I use to when he was much smaller. With the boys wanting to be more independent, holding him like that doesn’t really happen anymore. I barely get snuggles! 😭

He and I had a moment. I SAW him. He looked so much older but somehow I still saw my little fussy reflux baby. Maybe it’s the hormones or the impending new arrival of the girl but I miss them. I miss my babies. It’s incredible how much you forget along the way (and we’ve only just begun) but in a second you’re taken back to a moment. It sends a jolt in your body and you’ve time traveled to that memory.

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This picture is one of my favorites. I’m so happy I was obsessively taking pictures in the beginning because a lot of it is hard to remember between the reflux, feedings, and sleep deprivation. Nick was probably at RCIA working on becoming a Catholic so I had the evening with the boys. When they were much younger they both wanted to be near me ALL THE TIME. Makes sense, they were new to the world (the world is scary!). They needed mommy. (Oh how I miss those moments, too). They were also small enough I could have one on a boppy and another in my arms. In this picture, I got David to fall asleep on the boppy pillow and Andrew was in my arms. I’m sure at one point it was the opposite and I somehow creatively switched them without moving but I’m glad I captured this moment.

1. Because Andrew hardly took a pacifier outside of the first few months of life. Quite honestly, I don’t remember it much even then.

2. Because I need to remember I am a rock star. I definitely didn’t give myself enough credit at that time and I am not sure I do now. But I need to. I deserve it. I don’t mean for it to sound like I’m tooting my own horn here but I did a lot of things I didn’t know I was capable of including growing them in my body.

But how I miss holding them both so close to me. ❤️️ I probably needed to pee really bad and I was far from exhausted but they were so sweet to hold like this. I need to remember missing that when they are clawing or pushing at my leg or grabbing at my food. Or just when I don’t think I want to be touched one.more.time that day.

I imagine all parents have these moments. As a fairly new mother of young kids and I feel like we are in the trenches most days but I’m sure my parents have had these moments. I’ll never forget something my dad told me after I graduated from college. He said “Life only goes faster after this.” And boy, was he right. (Don’t let him know that though. 😉 ). I blinked and it’s been almost 11 years since high school graduation, 7 from college and 5 since our wedding day. Where has the time gone? What’s happened since you blinked? I bet a lot! Have you made the most of it? I’m not sure I have.

So I’m working on embracing my moments with my boys, even the bittersweet ones, because soon enough we will all have new ones with the little girl. I hate change, even good ones. However, I do learn to embrace the change, eventually. 😉 This transition seems like it will be hard for me but I am comforted to know she belongs with us. She is needed here for my heart to feel whole. I can’t slow down time or redo yesterday but TODAY I can do something about.

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Here’s to the moments,

Rachel