While not in Tulsa…

So the week arrived that I was supposed to be heading to Tulsa with my book lady friends…. Can your heart just break into pieces every day and then recover only to do it all over again the next day? That’s sort of been my week. I have my moments of being totally consumed by the house “chores” I’ve lined up for myself and activities with the boys and then a post pops up on my newsfeed – well, let’s be real – it’s a lot of posts throughout the day. 😭 Anyway, I’m not going to lie, I’ve been throwing mini pity parties throughout the day, every day, this week. I don’t think I could be more excited for a Monday to roll around in my life. But then again, I’m sure it will be “at convention this” “at convention that” “I’m so grateful for convention”…. Sense my bitterness? I’m not hiding it – it totally sucks. Oddly enough, last week I had to reschedule my counseling session due to be sick last week…. When was it rescheduled? Oh just on Wednesday, the day I was supposed to BE IN TULSA – coincidence? Probably not. Did it help? Eh, I’m a work in progress. πŸ˜‰

ANYWAY, while not in Tulsa I spent Wednesday moving furniture (sliding furniture) and creating a new desk area for myself. I was super inspired after my mom got me rolling on some ideas… I basically worked myself into not being able to walk by the end of the evening. I made a ton of progress though πŸ™ŒπŸ». Creating a desk space was one of the biggest things on my list to check off. It’s pretty much done! It’s not completely what I envisioned BUT it uses the space well and I don’t have to get any new furniture. We converted our NEVER USED dining table and viola, a desk! As you can see, there is still work to do!

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Wednesday was also a day I realized how much I was missed at convention. I got some messages from some book lady friends saying they were thinking of me and wished I was there. It was super sweet. Bittersweet. But it’s nice to be missed. I specifically found it comical that one of them “brought me along with her.” Definitely thoughtful and hilarious. Let’s see where I have been so far….

Summer took me on a flight (from where? I don’t remember where she lives. Whoops.) I registered for convention with her. I hung out during leader day with some of the ladies. I even shopped at the More Store. I ended the night by having an amazing sangria. (CanNOT wait to get one of those in real life πŸ˜‰). I think it’s super sweet she took the time to think of this. It’s truly touching! And funny! I even gave her some challenges to meet certain people I would have wanted to meet while I was there. Can’t wait to see if she can do it!

Alright so Thursday, I was basically useless. My body HURT from all my Wednesday avoidance activities. So my mom came over and took the boys out of the house for a few hours. πŸ™ŒπŸ» They had lunch with Mimi and Papa at Chilis while I ran some errands (baby free!), got my nails done (deluxe and extras included) and hit the Jason’s Deli drive thru to eat lunch on the couch. The boys came home and took a 2 hour nap! πŸ‘πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ» It was a pretty glorious day.

I will say that the swelling in my legs – specifically in my ankles and feet – are on the rise. It’s pretty painful and tingles every step. I had this issue with the boys and it significantly got worse after a plane ride to Ohio when I was 25 weeks. Now I’m almost 28 weeks and having this issue again with the girl, I’m sort of thankful for avoiding a plane ride or a long drive. Only SORT OF! 😊

TODAY: We decided to take a pool day. We are going on a small mini vacation to Bastrop with the family (instead of the week long one to Gulf Shores) – my dad rearranged everything for us. How awesome is that? Pretty awesome. So, today’s pool day was to see how the boys would do in the water and what they would need to be safe in it. They loved the water but it was a bit overwhelming for everyone – no worries, Mimi was with us.

So despite my roller coaster of pity parties, I’ve had a pretty good week. The house is getting more put together for the arrival of the baby girl and I’ve been spending some good time with the boys. They are getting more and more fun everyday!

So while it completely sucks I’m not in Tulsa getting all the book lady goodness, I’m okay. I’m OKAY. Everyone is OKAY. The world around us is OKAY. Yes, I’m bitter. But I’m OKAY. And ultimately, at this stage of my pregnancy, I wouldn’t have been able to handle that plane ride or drive. HOWEVER, I am excited to get some time away soon.

So I’ve learned, while not in Tulsa, I’m okay. (Do you think I’ve convinced myself of this yet? πŸ˜‰) There are much more important things going on for us right now. And more important things for me to mentally deal with. So I’m here, trying to enjoy my extra moments I was given with my boys because I know I’ll never get them back. ❀️

Here’s to not being in Tulsa,

Rachel

1 thought on “While not in Tulsa…”

  1. Well, what wonderful book lady friends. You traveled well with them, oh and that sangria pic…what a hoot!! Now that took some book imagination πŸ€“. Anyways, I am thankful that I have been able to see you through the week and share the “life giving moments” with you and those angel faces.πŸ˜‡πŸ˜‡. God is good. Very very good.

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