Madison Grace

An update and her name

So since the whole Tulsa fiasco so much has gone on in our house so I will do my best to try to recap quickly! However, pregnant brain is REAL these days so I will do my best to remember! HA!

I will say there have been many highs and lows for sure. The boys are going through the “terrible twos” – I would rather call it “twin nuclear warfare” but it’s really whatever floats your boat. It’s probably the combination of my ever growing belly and the sense of change coming around the house and just GROWING UP, but OH MY GOODNESS I’m in no condition for warfare right now.

Since I last wrote, Nick and I had our first garage sale. That was fun and a long day. We didn’t make a ton but enough and best of all, we got RID of stuff! We donated quite a bit of what we didn’t sell to Goodwill. We will be trying to sell the rest of the stuff that we have at the Fort Bend Parents of Multiples Buy/Sell in August. I know, I know. So close to my due date but you can still dream. 🙂 If you haven’t ever come to the sale, you should! If you are a parent of ANY CHILD looking to not pay for clothes with your arm and leg – this is the place to be! There is so much there for new parents or even seasoned parents. It’s not just for parents of multiples and it’s open to the PUBLIC! Nick and I have gotten so many clothes for the boys there that would cost us HUNDREDS of dollars at any store. So if you want any information about where and when this takes place, LET ME KNOW!

 

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I also had another important doctor’s appointment with the Maternal Fetal Medicine specialists and my OB. It’s usually an exhausting week when I have those appointments – lots of emotions and uncertainty! If you missed my Facebook LIVE after my specialist appointment feel free to check it out! I was a bawling baby but I was so happy to know the sub-chronic hematoma was no longer visible. My last two appointments, I definitely had happy news. The only real thing lingering that won’t go away and could potentially get worse is my marginal cord insertion. However, at this point, the baby girl is growing great despite that!

The boys are also getting really fun. I wish it was not coupled with the nuclear warfare but it is what it is. It’s part of them figuring out what they can do and NOT do. But they are also so funny. I can’t wait to actually understand what they are saying. We are having a lot of conversation about many things, I’m sure.  Many times they say a TON and are super serious about it too. It’s so cute but also so comical. Ha ha!

Along with some major highs, I’ve definitely experienced some major lows. For me, it’s stress related (sometimes tears). I know having a girl growing inside of me has really rocked my world the last few weeks. The emotional roller coaster has been INSANE! I’m sure everyone around me has felt it. So I tried to relax in a bath and that was a disaster. Did you miss that post? Honestly, baths are stupid. I really don’t understand them. I KNOW I am not “doing them right” but how can one mess up bubbles and water? Plus, I’m so huge at this point, that my regular shower tub doesn’t allow for a full submersion that I probably needed. And apparently, I need a bath pillow. What is that anyway? I mean, these days, I sleep with at least 5 king sized pillows and my pregnancy pillow so you would think I would be all in for this bath tub pillow but that just seems weird to me. I tried to have fun (hence the boat picture) and “figure it out” but it didn’t work. I’ll probably try again in 5 years – that’s about how often I attempt these things.

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Next up is vacation! Ladies and gentlemen, that is for an entire blog post on it’s own! So stay tuned for a vacation post soon! I will say I have never been so exhausted from a vacation in my entire life.

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So, let’s get to the point of the point: Madison Grace Webking

Is it a family name? Nope. Unless there is something I don’t know.

How did you come up with the name? Frankly, Madison was named by her daddy. Nick and I had been thinking of names for awhile. Well, let me back up!

We were initially going to WAIT to find out the gender until delivery BUT when we had all the scary stuff happen at 16 weeks, my heart couldn’t take it. I needed to know in case, well, to be honest, in case we had to bury this baby. 

Fast forward. We liked Madison almost instantly. It was like love at first sight. It was awesome. But I was hesitant about liking her name so fast. I don’t know why. There is just one baby (unlike the last time) and so naming HER is so final to me. Nick and I had the names of the boys by mid-pregnancy BUT we didn’t actually name the boys until we saw them. I had an idea of who would take each name but I didn’t have to make that decision until we saw them! So this time it’s so different for me mentally. Anyway, it’s probably silly but it is what it is. Her middle name, Grace, honestly came from Google. Haha! We knew we wanted a shorter middle name because it just sounded better with Madison. We did have an initial list of names from when we were pregnant with the boys and had revisited it several times this pregnancy but nothing really stood out. Madison wasn’t even on the list. We came across Ryan, Kate and Grace and liked them all. We love Ryan for a girl or boy name but just didn’t work well with Madison – we thought. We were left with Kate and Grace. We were loving both. However, Grace was also a practical choice. Almost verbatim Nick says “I think we should pick Grace because we are going to need it when she comes.” So there you have it! Her beautiful name. I can’t wait to meet her.

Here’s to Madison Grace,

Rachel

P.S. Another blog post coming up are my thoughts on the NICU – lately my mind has been fearing the NICU experience again. So stay tuned. It’s coming soon.

While not in Tulsa…

So the week arrived that I was supposed to be heading to Tulsa with my book lady friends…. Can your heart just break into pieces every day and then recover only to do it all over again the next day? That’s sort of been my week. I have my moments of being totally consumed by the house “chores” I’ve lined up for myself and activities with the boys and then a post pops up on my newsfeed – well, let’s be real – it’s a lot of posts throughout the day. 😭 Anyway, I’m not going to lie, I’ve been throwing mini pity parties throughout the day, every day, this week. I don’t think I could be more excited for a Monday to roll around in my life. But then again, I’m sure it will be “at convention this” “at convention that” “I’m so grateful for convention”…. Sense my bitterness? I’m not hiding it – it totally sucks. Oddly enough, last week I had to reschedule my counseling session due to be sick last week…. When was it rescheduled? Oh just on Wednesday, the day I was supposed to BE IN TULSA – coincidence? Probably not. Did it help? Eh, I’m a work in progress. 😉

ANYWAY, while not in Tulsa I spent Wednesday moving furniture (sliding furniture) and creating a new desk area for myself. I was super inspired after my mom got me rolling on some ideas… I basically worked myself into not being able to walk by the end of the evening. I made a ton of progress though 🙌🏻. Creating a desk space was one of the biggest things on my list to check off. It’s pretty much done! It’s not completely what I envisioned BUT it uses the space well and I don’t have to get any new furniture. We converted our NEVER USED dining table and viola, a desk! As you can see, there is still work to do!

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Wednesday was also a day I realized how much I was missed at convention. I got some messages from some book lady friends saying they were thinking of me and wished I was there. It was super sweet. Bittersweet. But it’s nice to be missed. I specifically found it comical that one of them “brought me along with her.” Definitely thoughtful and hilarious. Let’s see where I have been so far….

Summer took me on a flight (from where? I don’t remember where she lives. Whoops.) I registered for convention with her. I hung out during leader day with some of the ladies. I even shopped at the More Store. I ended the night by having an amazing sangria. (CanNOT wait to get one of those in real life 😉). I think it’s super sweet she took the time to think of this. It’s truly touching! And funny! I even gave her some challenges to meet certain people I would have wanted to meet while I was there. Can’t wait to see if she can do it!

Alright so Thursday, I was basically useless. My body HURT from all my Wednesday avoidance activities. So my mom came over and took the boys out of the house for a few hours. 🙌🏻 They had lunch with Mimi and Papa at Chilis while I ran some errands (baby free!), got my nails done (deluxe and extras included) and hit the Jason’s Deli drive thru to eat lunch on the couch. The boys came home and took a 2 hour nap! 👏🏻👏🏻 It was a pretty glorious day.

I will say that the swelling in my legs – specifically in my ankles and feet – are on the rise. It’s pretty painful and tingles every step. I had this issue with the boys and it significantly got worse after a plane ride to Ohio when I was 25 weeks. Now I’m almost 28 weeks and having this issue again with the girl, I’m sort of thankful for avoiding a plane ride or a long drive. Only SORT OF! 😊

TODAY: We decided to take a pool day. We are going on a small mini vacation to Bastrop with the family (instead of the week long one to Gulf Shores) – my dad rearranged everything for us. How awesome is that? Pretty awesome. So, today’s pool day was to see how the boys would do in the water and what they would need to be safe in it. They loved the water but it was a bit overwhelming for everyone – no worries, Mimi was with us.

So despite my roller coaster of pity parties, I’ve had a pretty good week. The house is getting more put together for the arrival of the baby girl and I’ve been spending some good time with the boys. They are getting more and more fun everyday!

So while it completely sucks I’m not in Tulsa getting all the book lady goodness, I’m okay. I’m OKAY. Everyone is OKAY. The world around us is OKAY. Yes, I’m bitter. But I’m OKAY. And ultimately, at this stage of my pregnancy, I wouldn’t have been able to handle that plane ride or drive. HOWEVER, I am excited to get some time away soon.

So I’ve learned, while not in Tulsa, I’m okay. (Do you think I’ve convinced myself of this yet? 😉) There are much more important things going on for us right now. And more important things for me to mentally deal with. So I’m here, trying to enjoy my extra moments I was given with my boys because I know I’ll never get them back. ❤️

Here’s to not being in Tulsa,

Rachel

Moments

Hold them close

Moments. We all have them multiple times a day. We have good ones and bad ones. Many times we miss moments. We don’t miss them intentionally; it’s really the hustle and bustle of life that causes us to just let them pass by.

Personally, I feel like I’m so busy some days that by the end of the day I don’t even know if I actually SAW my children (even though they were around me all day). Other days, I’m just trying to survive this moment or that moment. Do you ever feel like that? Maybe it’s not with your children but with work or your spouse? When I was teaching, there were definitely days I just trying to survive. It’s honestly DRAINING to stay in survival mode. I absolutely can’t stand those days because I usually feel more exhausted than if I had one full of activities. I don’t want to just survive life, I want to LIVE it. Don’t you? But how do you live every single day IN THE MOMENT? Is it possible? We could all learn to take a step back and “smell the roses” sometimes. It’s so insane how fast time flies, yet, we tend to let a lot of life pass us by. Sounds sad but it’s the truth.

For me, I do wish I was better at living in the moment. There are times I put my phone away or I’m not checking it as much but I could always do better in that department. We probably all could. It’s so easy to drown yourself in mindless searching or reading articles. Then there are times I turn the TV off – I like it for background sound but it tends to even eat up the moments with all the sound, too. Plus, the twins are paying more and more attention to it these days so it’s a good habit to scale back.

The moments I really love watching are the ones where my boys are playing. Now I do mean all 3 of my boys but watching the twins play is becoming more fun too! They are really trying to talk and they crack me up! And of course, they are becoming more fearless – see evidence in the above left picture. They REALLY LIKE READING and lately I’ve been catching them sitting together with a book “reading”. It’s so cute! They also really love telling Dakota she’s a “good gurl” – haha! Oh and they are masters at saying “NO” or “NO WAY!”. But either way, they do keep Nick and I on our toes. We couldn’t have more of a stubborn pair of children but we knew it was going to happen. My guess is that this little girl might be surpassing them all! Stay tuned. 😊 Lately, the boys, specifically David, really hates wearing clothes. It’s either shorts or a shirt or nothing. Tonight, he went to bed in his diaper. I just usually pray I don’t wake up to pee and poop everywhere because they do like to take their diapers off.

Something I really enjoy are those fleeting moments, the ones you miss once you blink but if you catch them they are ingrained in your mind forever. I had one with Andrew today… It was so sweet. I broke down and gave the boys bottles this morning…. A Monday after a week of being sick is pretty slow going… They were drinking them while watching some Fixer Upper (it’s educational, right?) until Andrew just couldn’t calm down. I really don’t know what was going on. He had a BIG quiver lip and I just scooped him up and cradled him in my arms like I use to when he was much smaller. With the boys wanting to be more independent, holding him like that doesn’t really happen anymore. I barely get snuggles! 😭

He and I had a moment. I SAW him. He looked so much older but somehow I still saw my little fussy reflux baby. Maybe it’s the hormones or the impending new arrival of the girl but I miss them. I miss my babies. It’s incredible how much you forget along the way (and we’ve only just begun) but in a second you’re taken back to a moment. It sends a jolt in your body and you’ve time traveled to that memory.

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This picture is one of my favorites. I’m so happy I was obsessively taking pictures in the beginning because a lot of it is hard to remember between the reflux, feedings, and sleep deprivation. Nick was probably at RCIA working on becoming a Catholic so I had the evening with the boys. When they were much younger they both wanted to be near me ALL THE TIME. Makes sense, they were new to the world (the world is scary!). They needed mommy. (Oh how I miss those moments, too). They were also small enough I could have one on a boppy and another in my arms. In this picture, I got David to fall asleep on the boppy pillow and Andrew was in my arms. I’m sure at one point it was the opposite and I somehow creatively switched them without moving but I’m glad I captured this moment.

1. Because Andrew hardly took a pacifier outside of the first few months of life. Quite honestly, I don’t remember it much even then.

2. Because I need to remember I am a rock star. I definitely didn’t give myself enough credit at that time and I am not sure I do now. But I need to. I deserve it. I don’t mean for it to sound like I’m tooting my own horn here but I did a lot of things I didn’t know I was capable of including growing them in my body.

But how I miss holding them both so close to me. ❤️️ I probably needed to pee really bad and I was far from exhausted but they were so sweet to hold like this. I need to remember missing that when they are clawing or pushing at my leg or grabbing at my food. Or just when I don’t think I want to be touched one.more.time that day.

I imagine all parents have these moments. As a fairly new mother of young kids and I feel like we are in the trenches most days but I’m sure my parents have had these moments. I’ll never forget something my dad told me after I graduated from college. He said “Life only goes faster after this.” And boy, was he right. (Don’t let him know that though. 😉 ). I blinked and it’s been almost 11 years since high school graduation, 7 from college and 5 since our wedding day. Where has the time gone? What’s happened since you blinked? I bet a lot! Have you made the most of it? I’m not sure I have.

So I’m working on embracing my moments with my boys, even the bittersweet ones, because soon enough we will all have new ones with the little girl. I hate change, even good ones. However, I do learn to embrace the change, eventually. 😉 This transition seems like it will be hard for me but I am comforted to know she belongs with us. She is needed here for my heart to feel whole. I can’t slow down time or redo yesterday but TODAY I can do something about.

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Here’s to the moments,

Rachel

“Momnipotent”

The Not-So-Perfect Woman’s Guide to Catholic Motherhood by Danielle Bean

I started reading this book last night. I have to thank my Aunt Veronica for giving it to me when I was pregnant with the twins. I never cracked it open. During my firestorm to organize as much as possible yesterday (which, by the way, I am paying for it today), I came across this book again. Something prompted me to open it last night and start reading. Can we just acknowledge that when God’s timing is perfect, it’s so perfect?

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I’m not going to lie, my spirit has been wrecked these last few weeks. I don’t mean I’ve had doubts in my beliefs (although that’s totally fine if I have) but I mean, just life has been hard. Last week’s news ignited some serious anxiety issues that I have struggled with for a good chunk of my life. You know when you find something for YOU or plan something for YOU and look forward to that – it’s an amazing feeling. Now take it away – totally sucks. Anyway, I won’t get into it all again – you can check out my previous post if you need a refresher or didn’t catch it last week.

But I’m struggling and I’m overwhelmed. Life has overwhelmed me lately. In ONE week from tomorrow, my due date is THREE MONTHS away and I couldn’t feel more UNREADY. (Is that a word?)

Stress 1: I feel like all the junk has to go. I know it’s not COMPLETELY necessary or even reasonable but have you ever fought with a pregnant woman when she’s made her mind up about something? I don’t suggest it.

Stress 2: Once the junk goes, I’ll feel better about getting ready to bring another human into this world and maybe even start her nursery. Again, I know she won’t live in there for at least 3 months after she’s here because of the stairs we have in our house but argue with a pregnant woman? I think not.

Stress 3: I feel like I don’t have enough time with my boys. They are so fun and so exhausting but I just can’t help but be sad that my first-born children will not be JUST THEM anymore. I’m not worried about loving this girl or having enough room in my heart – I know she belongs there. My heart isn’t complete without her and the future siblings here (2 more to go!). However, it’s sort of funny because I’ve had 2 at one time so you would think adding 1 more isn’t a big deal but it’s HUGE for me. I don’t want this part to end and frankly gets me teary eyed thinking about it. We’ve been through so much together starting from before they were born so it’s a bittersweet change to our story.

Stress 4: The pregnancy itself is a stress. Again, I won’t go into it because I pretty much unloaded last week. And frankly, I’m too tired to unearth those emotions again.

So these are the 4 main stresses I have and then I started reading this book. I haven’t read a ton of it yet but something struck me last night. Spiritual motherhood is something that we, women, are all called to be.

“In makes sense…that while some women are called to biological mothers, every woman is called to spiritual motherhood because motherhood is knit into the very structure of a woman’s being. Women are created with the gift of interior readiness to receive others into their lives, and in doing so, to nurture their emotional, moral, cultural and spiritual well-being. This is an exciting and creative challenge because women can be spiritual mothers anywhere: in the office, at home, with their grandchildren, in the neighborhood, even sick in bed” (Katrina J. Zeno, Discovering the Feminine Genius: Every Women’s Journey, 41).

I found great comfort in this quote last night. I’m not sure why I did but I did.

Maybe it’s because I struggled with infertility so I recognize the want for a biological child.

Maybe it’s because I know people who have adopted or in the process of adopting a child.

Maybe it’s because I have spiritual mothers in my life that have no biological lines to me but have impacted me so much.

Maybe it’s because, as a teacher, I feel like I have been a spiritual mother to some of my students I have watched grow into amazing young men and women.

Maybe it’s because I have seen spiritual motherhood IN ACTION from a multitude of women my entire life – some with children and some without.

Spiritual motherhood. I think I found comfort in it because it’s bigger than me and what I am feeling. This whole earthly motherhood gig is T-O-U-G-H! But somehow, to know that I have something inside of me, that we all do, that feeds our children and the people we connect with around us, that’s bigger and stronger than how I feel right now covers me in comfort and the grace I desperately seek.

Honestly, right now I just feel like I am barely surviving. You know just doggie paddling in the waters of life. My kids probably watch too much TV, get away with too many things, and eat way too many chicken nuggets. I mean, they don’t mind but the inadequacy of how I feel in raising them is suffocating. But right there, in the middle of me suffocating, the Lord says “It’s okay.” The Lord has blessed me, and all women, with this spiritual motherhood because even know I’m totally judging myself (and openly sharing that judgement on my post right now), it doesn’t matter. As long as I am here, present with my boys, they get SOMETHING from me that I didn’t know really existed until last night. I don’t even know if I quite understand what I give to them. But I have been blessed with “an exciting and creative challenge” that I wouldn’t change for the world (Katrina J. Zeno, Discovering the Feminine Genius: Every Women’s Journey, 41).

Here’s to spiritual motherhood,

 

Rachel

The sacrifices we make

and sometimes it really sucks…

Well this week was my BIG check up. So many questions…. Did the hematoma start dissolving? How’s my placenta? Is the baby growing okay? Can I go on my trip to Usborne’s convention? Can I go to Gulf Shores for a week with my family? To be honest, I wasn’t completely convinced I would even get a small bit of good news. I know, I know. So pessimistic. But seriously, my last two appointments haven’t been so great.

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Here’s us leaving that regular urine sample and about to start my gestational diabetes test. Goodness I am nervous about the results! So stay tuned for that.

So let’s get to it….

The hematoma: still there. What does that mean? I’m still at risk for bleeding. So continued restrictions. Strike one.

The cord issue: well it’s permanent but the baby is growing fantastic! So currently the cord isn’t causing any issues. Ball one.

The placenta: IT MOVED! So it’s no longer considered an issue. Whoop! Ball two.

Can I travel to convention for Usborne Books & More June 7th-11th? Hesitation. Strike two.

Can I travel to Gulf Shores with my family June 17-24th? Hesitation. Strike three.

I’m out.

Although I couldn’t be happier for a healthy baby at this point, I’m pretty sad, disappointed, angry and frustrated. Let me explain why the hesitation.

I’m high risk. Well, that alone pretty much seals the deal. Once you’re labeled high risk, it’s pretty much over. Because ANYTHING can happen at ANY time. I was labeled high risk with the twins but it was ONLY because I was carrying twins. I, thankfully, didn’t have any complications with them and never carried them long enough to experience them. Can I go back in time and tell my former self to enjoy my previous pregnancy more? **regrets**

I’ve continued to have Braxton Hicks contractions. I’ve had contractions since about 16 weeks. Some stronger and longer than others. Some have put me out all day. The stress of traveling can prompt them along with dehydration. So my continued contractions could serve as an irritant to the hematoma and resume bleeding. Bleeding on a plane or somewhere not near my hospital is something that can potentially be problematic. Something that worries me.

I’m swelling. I started swelling with the twins pretty much around the same time. Seems like this time it’s a bit accelerated. Funny how the body remembers. 😫 When I was pregnant with the twins, I flew to Ohio (no hesitation from the doctor then) at 25 weeks. On the plane ride back, the pressure of being on the plane literally made my legs feel like they were going to explode. IT WAS AWFUL! Like so bad, we went from the plane to the hospital. So the doctor is worried a plane ride would enhance my issues.

Okay so drive, right? Wrong. When you are pregnant you are more at risk for clotting by sitting down for too long. So driving to Tulsa or to Gulf Shores would require a stop every 1-2 hours for bathroom and walking. In my case, I HAVE to drink a significant amount of water to keep the contractions at bay. If I don’t, I’m destined to have them. And my bladder is a trampoline to the little lady so forget holding anything. Did you know holding your urine too long while your pregnant can cause contractions? Yes and I’ve definitely found this true.

So what’s my point besides a large bitch session here on my blog? Well, I’ll be the first to admit I have control issues. Overtime I’ve learned, especially with the twins, to let things go. But I felt so out of control when I was pregnant with the twins. From being pregnant for the first time to personal issues making it challenging, I felt absolutely 100% out of control of pretty much anything. So, with this one, I thought, just maybe I would have some control. Or at least be too busy to really wallow in not having any.

I sincerely thank the Lord for being so busy with the twins but this is my time to wallow. To be sad. To be angry. Why? Well, that trip to convention was FOR ME. It’s something I have been planning on for a YEAR. It’s something I know I needed for myself and my business. It completely and utterly sucks I can’t go. I’ve spent money on travel, accommodations and registration. 😭 And that trip with the family, well, who wouldn’t want to spend a week in Gulf Shores? Maybe I would look like a beached whale but the memories I wanted to make with my kids there is something I won’t get, not right now anyway. Sucks!

I know and realize when you are pregnant you become an incubator and subject to the wants and needs to this tiny human you’re making. I get it. I don’t like it but I get it. And I’m mad.

I am mad for feeling like this again, for being terrible at giving life to another human being, for being, yet again, not blessed to be a woman who can do all things during pregnancy like workout, eat clean, play all day with their kids, etc. 

I literally give up everything I wanted this summer for you little girl. I know you will be worth it in the end. I know it’s not just a cliché but it sucks so bad right now. I’m sad right now. I’m wishing things were different right now. I wish pregnancy for me didn’t require giving up EVERYTHING to keep you safe. But it’s what I have to do.  It’s not what I want to do and quite frankly I haven’t stopped crying about it today.

But it’s the sacrifices we make as mothers even before you enter this world that help us become better mothers.image

Precious one, I don’t know who you will turn out to be but I know I’ll be better for this moment. It’s these moments God changes us for His will. I just wish it didn’t hurt so bad going through it.

 

Here’s to the sacrifices we make,

Rachel

Are you a super mom?

Mom memes and more

So, it’s been another busy week…. does it ever slow down? I’m thinking not especially when you are actively adding humans to the human race. 🙂 Anyway, I was fixin’ to sit at my computer in desperate need to blog today and I thought SUPER MOMS. What are super moms anyway? Does it mean we get everything done on our to-do list? Dinner is ready? Home cooked? Everyone showered? And have a smile on our face? Is it all of the above? Is it some but not all? Seems like so much pressure. Haha. I mean I’m sure there are tons of different types of super moms but society has their own way to dictate what a super mom is so let’s explore that.

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I love this meme. The reason I love it is because I’m not sure any one of these pictures is really realistic, yet there are many moms who can see themselves in one of these 6 images. If you take out the caption, it is actually a great representation of the many looks of motherhood. It doesn’t encompass everything but it’s a good start. However, my look of motherhood, tends to stay in the bottom right corner image. CRAP everywhere! 

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And in the midst of writing this blog – this is my view. Yep. Real life people. No, I don’t clean up after my kids until the END OF THE DAY. WHY WASTE YOUR TIME PEOPLE? It’s going to get messed up after the nap so as long as I have a walkway, I’m good! (And yes, I’m catching up on Pretty Little Liars) Ha! Plus I am way too busy to pick up toys all the time. But more power to you if you like to do that.

Anyway back to the meme, well, I don’t really know what my friends think I do. But life at home, now running two direct sales businesses, being pregnant with the BEST PREGNANCY EVER (sense the sarcasm), and whatever else is going on isn’t easy. I have to fit as many things in ONE nap session and I usually don’t know how long it will last. #momlife But then, I think about my working mom friends – WHOA! I do NOT know how they do that! I tried for a short second working part time out of the house and immediately hated it. It’s just not for me and we are blessed by being able to make some ends meet while I’m home. Either choice isn’t easy. Either choice comes with sacrifices and I honestly believe comparing these choices isn’t healthy and it’s downright petty. It doesn’t matter in the real scheme of things. #momsunite

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But regardless, I think MOST of us moms definitely have starts and finishes to these days described above pretty regularly – as long as we didn’t have a bad night, that is. HA! I can’t help but laugh because my days DEFINITELY look like this. I think many of us start off as super moms but end like Cruella! LOL! If you don’t have a Cruella day, well, more power to you and I probably won’t believe you, especially if you have any age kids in the house.

I feel like I’m more like this mom meme coming up next.

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This one literally had me laughing out loud. I mean I have some friends that don’t censor their language around their kids. I don’t know how I really feel about it BUT their philosophy is that they are teaching their kids what are adult words and what words are kid words. And I have never heard a bad word come out of their mouth, ever. Honestly, can you blame the kid if he or she used it in the right context!?! I certainly wouldn’t. Haha!

Anyway, let’s talk about pregnant super moms…..

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Now I would love to say that I feel like this super mom….. ummmm I don’t. Not even close. Yes, growing a human is something I’m eternally grateful for but it doesn’t make it any less easy. I’m just not blessed to have easy pregnancies. I’m starting to accept that but you wouldn’t see me wearing anything close to this outside of my house. LOL!

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I pretty much feel like this! Seriously. I’m short and well nothing fits well – not even maternity clothes sometimes. #preggoproblems I would love to be able to take some maternity photos but the idea that I would look like this, I think not. Anyone else feel like this when they are pregnant?

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Then there are the whole pregnancy lies people share – you know the ones that we are share with each other to comfort one another. THIS ONE – I’m still waiting on the energy boost. I don’t know if it’s the whole pregnancy thing or the whole twin mom thing but TIRED is an understatement.

Regardless of the type of super mom you are or even if you don’t feel like a super mom, YOU ARE! If you manage to keep everyone, including yourself, happy, healthy and fed – I think you are doing a great job!

Now get those kids to bed, pour yourself a glass of wine (or two) and get ready for another day….

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Here’s to all the super moms,

Rachel

Juggling

Being ENOUGH is a four letter word….

Do you ever feel like you are juggling a million things at once? This was definitely my life last week. Sometimes I feel like pregnancy alone is enough to juggle but then add in the twins, the dog, my husband and anything else I happen to be doing and life can quickly seem out of control. Life can be overwhelming and instead of enjoying life we are trying to survive life. Then everything you usually do with ease and grace now seems like it’s mediocre. I feel like between everything I had going last week I barely saw the kids. I mean they were there – but SEEING them is a whole different thing. Insert mommy guilt. 

But thank goodness for Mondays! A brand new start to the week. A brand new week to make better than the last. But I’m still juggling. Aren’t we all? I’ve already started the day off getting the kids up and ready for school, visited a friend who just had a baby, popped in a frozen pizza, checked in on my book lady business, did some book lady leader duties, talked a little skin care with my mom, sister and sponsor, had a couple of phone calls and now sitting to write the blog post. Is the pizza ready yet? See all that juggling! It’s really incredible when I write it out all on the screen. Yet, somehow we, moms and caregivers of anyone, tend to not give ourselves enough credit for what we do on a daily basis. In fact, we largely feel like we didn’t do enough or worse, that we aren’t enough. 

That reminds me of this video I saw on Facebook this weekend about how we, moms, don’t feel like we are enough. I wish I had saved it to post in here. The video was moving for me because lately that’s how I have been feeling. Not enough. Are you feeling this way? That’s the Devil y’all. Telling us we can’t do something. Or we shouldn’t do something for ourselves.

I would take a guess that this is a DAILY struggle for many people – not just moms. But how debilitating. That thought of not being enough can literally freeze you in time. Isn’t that what the Devil wants from us? Not to be everything that God intended for us to be. Not reaching our full potential. Even when we are reaching our potential, sometimes we have guilt for even doing that! It’s a vicious web we weave ourselves in! 

Well, I’m here to say YOU ARE ENOUGH.

When you feed the kids chicken nuggets for the 3rd time this week instead of a home cooked meal – YOU ARE ENOUGH.

When you haven’t taken a shower in 2 days and the house is a mess – YOU ARE ENOUGH.

When you pour that glass of wine just a tad before 5pm because it’s just been one of those days – YOU ARE ENOUGH.

When all you want to do is go to a hotel to sleep because you’re one more fight between your kids away from a mental breakdown – YOU ARE ENOUGH.

When you have one of the best days with the kids and get everything on your to-do list done – YOU ARE ENOUGH. 

When you spend way too much money on something that makes you incredibly happy – YOU ARE ENOUGH. 

When you stay up late watching movies with your husband and know you’ll pay for it the next day – YOU ARE ENOUGH.

When you spend anytime making sure YOU are taken care of – YOU ARE ENOUGH. 

 

YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH. 

 

Here’s to being enough today and every day,

Rachel