Moments

Hold them close

Moments. We all have them multiple times a day. We have good ones and bad ones. Many times we miss moments. We don’t miss them intentionally; it’s really the hustle and bustle of life that causes us to just let them pass by.

Personally, I feel like I’m so busy some days that by the end of the day I don’t even know if I actually SAW my children (even though they were around me all day). Other days, I’m just trying to survive this moment or that moment. Do you ever feel like that? Maybe it’s not with your children but with work or your spouse? When I was teaching, there were definitely days I just trying to survive. It’s honestly DRAINING to stay in survival mode. I absolutely can’t stand those days because I usually feel more exhausted than if I had one full of activities. I don’t want to just survive life, I want to LIVE it. Don’t you? But how do you live every single day IN THE MOMENT? Is it possible? We could all learn to take a step back and “smell the roses” sometimes. It’s so insane how fast time flies, yet, we tend to let a lot of life pass us by. Sounds sad but it’s the truth.

For me, I do wish I was better at living in the moment. There are times I put my phone away or I’m not checking it as much but I could always do better in that department. We probably all could. It’s so easy to drown yourself in mindless searching or reading articles. Then there are times I turn the TV off – I like it for background sound but it tends to even eat up the moments with all the sound, too. Plus, the twins are paying more and more attention to it these days so it’s a good habit to scale back.

The moments I really love watching are the ones where my boys are playing. Now I do mean all 3 of my boys but watching the twins play is becoming more fun too! They are really trying to talk and they crack me up! And of course, they are becoming more fearless – see evidence in the above left picture. They REALLY LIKE READING and lately I’ve been catching them sitting together with a book “reading”. It’s so cute! They also really love telling Dakota she’s a “good gurl” – haha! Oh and they are masters at saying “NO” or “NO WAY!”. But either way, they do keep Nick and I on our toes. We couldn’t have more of a stubborn pair of children but we knew it was going to happen. My guess is that this little girl might be surpassing them all! Stay tuned. 😊 Lately, the boys, specifically David, really hates wearing clothes. It’s either shorts or a shirt or nothing. Tonight, he went to bed in his diaper. I just usually pray I don’t wake up to pee and poop everywhere because they do like to take their diapers off.

Something I really enjoy are those fleeting moments, the ones you miss once you blink but if you catch them they are ingrained in your mind forever. I had one with Andrew today… It was so sweet. I broke down and gave the boys bottles this morning…. A Monday after a week of being sick is pretty slow going… They were drinking them while watching some Fixer Upper (it’s educational, right?) until Andrew just couldn’t calm down. I really don’t know what was going on. He had a BIG quiver lip and I just scooped him up and cradled him in my arms like I use to when he was much smaller. With the boys wanting to be more independent, holding him like that doesn’t really happen anymore. I barely get snuggles! 😭

He and I had a moment. I SAW him. He looked so much older but somehow I still saw my little fussy reflux baby. Maybe it’s the hormones or the impending new arrival of the girl but I miss them. I miss my babies. It’s incredible how much you forget along the way (and we’ve only just begun) but in a second you’re taken back to a moment. It sends a jolt in your body and you’ve time traveled to that memory.

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This picture is one of my favorites. I’m so happy I was obsessively taking pictures in the beginning because a lot of it is hard to remember between the reflux, feedings, and sleep deprivation. Nick was probably at RCIA working on becoming a Catholic so I had the evening with the boys. When they were much younger they both wanted to be near me ALL THE TIME. Makes sense, they were new to the world (the world is scary!). They needed mommy. (Oh how I miss those moments, too). They were also small enough I could have one on a boppy and another in my arms. In this picture, I got David to fall asleep on the boppy pillow and Andrew was in my arms. I’m sure at one point it was the opposite and I somehow creatively switched them without moving but I’m glad I captured this moment.

1. Because Andrew hardly took a pacifier outside of the first few months of life. Quite honestly, I don’t remember it much even then.

2. Because I need to remember I am a rock star. I definitely didn’t give myself enough credit at that time and I am not sure I do now. But I need to. I deserve it. I don’t mean for it to sound like I’m tooting my own horn here but I did a lot of things I didn’t know I was capable of including growing them in my body.

But how I miss holding them both so close to me. ❤️️ I probably needed to pee really bad and I was far from exhausted but they were so sweet to hold like this. I need to remember missing that when they are clawing or pushing at my leg or grabbing at my food. Or just when I don’t think I want to be touched one.more.time that day.

I imagine all parents have these moments. As a fairly new mother of young kids and I feel like we are in the trenches most days but I’m sure my parents have had these moments. I’ll never forget something my dad told me after I graduated from college. He said “Life only goes faster after this.” And boy, was he right. (Don’t let him know that though. 😉 ). I blinked and it’s been almost 11 years since high school graduation, 7 from college and 5 since our wedding day. Where has the time gone? What’s happened since you blinked? I bet a lot! Have you made the most of it? I’m not sure I have.

So I’m working on embracing my moments with my boys, even the bittersweet ones, because soon enough we will all have new ones with the little girl. I hate change, even good ones. However, I do learn to embrace the change, eventually. 😉 This transition seems like it will be hard for me but I am comforted to know she belongs with us. She is needed here for my heart to feel whole. I can’t slow down time or redo yesterday but TODAY I can do something about.

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Here’s to the moments,

Rachel

It Takes Two

The blog name.

When I was sitting down trying to name this blog, all I could think about was “it takes two.” I don’t know why but I was instantly reminded of the song with Tina Turner and Rod Stewart (see the YouTube video of their music video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mzDQbmtPZ0). Then my brain jumped to the 1995 movie with Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen It Takes Two. If you’ve never seen this movie, it’s pretty cute (check out the information here: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113442/) . It’s funny how our minds go back to memories with just a phrase. Okay, let’s really get to it!

It takes two. What does this mean? Really mean?

First, it reminds me of marriage and that when you are married or in a committed relationship of any kind, it takes TWO people in it all the time. That’s pretty hard and possibly unreasonable. I mean, after all, we all are human and have our own individual needs. And sometimes YOU JUST CAN’T GIVE ANYMORE, right? We’ve all had those moments. We feel defeated and at the end of our rope. But the beauty of having the other person there with you is that, usually, that person can “pick up the slack.” For instance, I’m currently pregnant with our little girl and we have 1 1/2-year-old twin boys – talk about a madhouse – unlike the twin pregnancy, I’ve encounter some slight complications, making me even less than available at times. (Don’t worry, everything is fine). In my physical absence – I’m there but not there, you know? – my husband and mom have picked up some major slack. Growing a human is NO joke! And I’ve done this before. I couldn’t imagine doing it alone like some women do – it just reminds me how lucky I am to have that support system.

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This is us being silly showing “our” bumps with baby girl last weekend at 18 weeks!
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Our biggest support system, our family!

Secondly, it reminds me of friendship. Not everyone is married or in a committed relationship, I totally recognize that. But everyone should have a friend. Someone to lean on and that can lean on them because I personally couldn’t imagine living this life alone. Life is so amazing that it shouldn’t be lived alone. I hope and pray that each and every one of you at least have one friend that can do that for you. Married or in a committed relationship or not, find that friend and keep them – they are worth having in your life. I’ve been so lucky to have had some good friends in my life. Some have come and gone and come back again which makes those relationships even sweeter. The best thing about raising kids with your friends is that they slowly become friends (or at least you hope). Even though I’m married, I don’t know what I would do without my friends – especially the ones that totally empathize with me when I’m just needing to vent or being completely unreasonable (especially now). To be around people who just plain care about you, no matter what, is so special. **Disclaimer: I couldn’t even put pictures or name all the friends we have in our lives that we are so grateful for so please don’t be offended!**

Thirdly, this reminds me of my boys. Maybe it’s the whole Olsen twin thing, I have no idea. I just know I couldn’t imagine life with one of my boys or the other. My twins complete each other. They are the best of friends needing and deserving of one another and it’s the most magical experience I’ve witnessed in my life. I hope they continue to live their lives as the best of the friends and have the most amazing relationship for as long as they live. Even now, as I am writing, they are playing and laughing (sometimes fighting) with each other and it’s the best! I don’t even know what we will all do when baby girl gets here but it’s sure to be a lot of fun!

What does “It Takes Two” mean for you? Is it marriage, friendship, family or something with your kids? Regardless, like most things in life, you need a buddy and if you don’t need a buddy, you want a buddy. It’s like the whole women going to the restroom together. It’s so NOT necessary but it’s fun. You continue to talk or switch the conversation to something more scandalous or definitely not table appropriate. I keep thinking of my friend Michelle, we probably had the most unusual bathroom experience I’ve had with another lady but that’s for another day. 😉 But you understand what I mean…Having that partner in crime gives us someone to share our lives with.

It truly “takes a village” but personally, I want the village. I need the village. The bigger the better because life is so much better sharing it with others. 

Here’s to everything in between,

Rachel