Independence

Our Country and My Toddlers

For some of you, this weekend means barbecues, family and friend gatherings, lakeside parties and much more. I’ve already seen so many pictures of fun summer activities happening among my virtual friends. We’ve spent some time outdoors but this swollen pregnant lady has been keeping it relatively low-key. There is nothing truly exciting about a holiday weekend since it’s usually coupled with a day or two off work, am I right?! 😊 But this weekend is so much more than that. And I’m pretty sure our Founding Fathers didn’t think this day would be coupled with so many summer activities or that Hobby Lobby would have stocked their shelves way back in March for this weekend. But I do believe they did their fair share of celebrating. I mean, why not celebrate going to war with one of the greatest countries in the world in 1776?!

Most people would mark the beginning of our country with the date of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776 – hence the holiday. However, did you know that the Declaration of Independence wasn’t actually signed on July 4th – GASP! It was officially signed a month later on August 2nd. How incredible were these men to help 13 little colonies stand up to Great Britain? Pretty incredible and fearless. Doesn’t all this history of the Declaration make you want to watch Nicholas Cage’s National Treasure movie? I do! I love that movie! Haha!

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Do you remember what the fuss was about anyway? The 13 colonies were under the direction of Great Britain and wanted their INDEPENDENCE from the Mother Country. We went to war with a HUGE, fully stocked with weapons and soldiers, country. Hello! Talk about a death sentence! But these guys were united by the need for freedom against an oppressive motherland. Ummm anyone want to watch Mel Gibson’s The Patriot? Another one of my favorites! It’s much more complicated than that but hopefully that jogs your memory.

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In all seriousness, this holiday is important to me. Not just for my history heart but also for me personally. This year in Cincinnati, Ohio, in the subdivision of Banning Acres, they will be celebrating 50 years of their neighborhood 4th of July parade. I remember going to this parade at least one time, maybe a few times, growing up. My grandparents started this parade in their neighborhood and while my grandfather has recently moved out of the neighborhood and my grandmother is looking down from above, they are still doing the parade. I think that is so awesome. It’s so cool to have been apart of something lasting so long. I’m sure that’s why we, Americans, treasure this weekend. We have been apart of something huge for so long – even if we weren’t even alive. Many of us have ancestors connected to this special day or are here in this amazing country because of this day.

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I do believe it’s important to honor those who made a huge sacrifice for us in 1776 and, even though it might not cross your mind as a day to honor dudes like Thomas Jefferson, it is important to know our country is still growing and changing and figuring out who exactly we are. In the eyes of the world, we are mere toddlers!

For comparison sake and because I love Rome so very much, did you know Roman history dates back to BC which means that Rome has a history lasting over 2500 years old?! American history hasn’t even hit the 250 year mark. Roman history is 10 times older than ours! Just think about that! We are BABIES! Budding toddlers with, at times, an attitude problem. Learning how to voice our opinions and many times being put in time-out.

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Disclaimer: I’m not looking for a political debate nor do I even want to know if you like our current president. I had enough of that during the election.

In many ways, America reminds me of my Twinadoes. Andrew and David are becoming fearless when voicing their thoughts and opinions on things such as food or whether or not they would like to take a nap, go to bed or even share their toys. Many of times this results in screaming, yelling and even crying from them in protest. And we definitely have some time-outs! Our vacation was full of this part of parenting. 😫 Yet, somehow they survive and move on until the next hour when it happens again.

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It’s similar to today in America. Our Amazon, social media, and high-speed internet has brought us into a generation of instant gratification or bust type people. I’m guilty of it just like the next person but seeing it in our younger generation in the classroom might have scared the poop out of me. It’s like we are raising a generation of kids that really need a good spanking. Haha! Seriously! I’m sure the British felt the same way about these Americans in 1776 whining about their much-needed freedom. Why did the Americans need their freedom? Why now? I mean without the Motherland those colonists wouldn’t be there!

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But what does this really boil down to with our 1776 Americans, twinadoes and our current younger generation: INDEPENDENCE. Quite frankly, like the 1776 Americans, my boys are trying to become more independent with every push of the boundary; yet, like the current younger generation in this country, when told NO revert to their baby-self, not quite ready to be in the real world. Not quite ready to face what’s actually out there – which is a lot of NOs, by the way. Even some of our young adults in the real world, don’t get it. They might be too busy looking at all their participation trophies (okay, that was mean but so true) wondering why they can’t get it together or they are completely content with mediocrity (that’s even scarier).

But regardless, this need for independence is just ingrained in us. It’s who we are, not just as Americans, but as people. “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness” (Declaration of Independence, 1776). These rights fuel our need for independence; encroach on that and you’ll see us kicking and screaming in the face of injustice. But we will be okay, we probably just need a nap. 😊

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Want to check out more cool facts that you may not have known about the Declaration of Independence? http://www.history.com/news/9-things-you-may-not-know-about-the-declaration-of-independence

Madison Grace

An update and her name

So since the whole Tulsa fiasco so much has gone on in our house so I will do my best to try to recap quickly! However, pregnant brain is REAL these days so I will do my best to remember! HA!

I will say there have been many highs and lows for sure. The boys are going through the “terrible twos” – I would rather call it “twin nuclear warfare” but it’s really whatever floats your boat. It’s probably the combination of my ever growing belly and the sense of change coming around the house and just GROWING UP, but OH MY GOODNESS I’m in no condition for warfare right now.

Since I last wrote, Nick and I had our first garage sale. That was fun and a long day. We didn’t make a ton but enough and best of all, we got RID of stuff! We donated quite a bit of what we didn’t sell to Goodwill. We will be trying to sell the rest of the stuff that we have at the Fort Bend Parents of Multiples Buy/Sell in August. I know, I know. So close to my due date but you can still dream. 🙂 If you haven’t ever come to the sale, you should! If you are a parent of ANY CHILD looking to not pay for clothes with your arm and leg – this is the place to be! There is so much there for new parents or even seasoned parents. It’s not just for parents of multiples and it’s open to the PUBLIC! Nick and I have gotten so many clothes for the boys there that would cost us HUNDREDS of dollars at any store. So if you want any information about where and when this takes place, LET ME KNOW!

 

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I also had another important doctor’s appointment with the Maternal Fetal Medicine specialists and my OB. It’s usually an exhausting week when I have those appointments – lots of emotions and uncertainty! If you missed my Facebook LIVE after my specialist appointment feel free to check it out! I was a bawling baby but I was so happy to know the sub-chronic hematoma was no longer visible. My last two appointments, I definitely had happy news. The only real thing lingering that won’t go away and could potentially get worse is my marginal cord insertion. However, at this point, the baby girl is growing great despite that!

The boys are also getting really fun. I wish it was not coupled with the nuclear warfare but it is what it is. It’s part of them figuring out what they can do and NOT do. But they are also so funny. I can’t wait to actually understand what they are saying. We are having a lot of conversation about many things, I’m sure.  Many times they say a TON and are super serious about it too. It’s so cute but also so comical. Ha ha!

Along with some major highs, I’ve definitely experienced some major lows. For me, it’s stress related (sometimes tears). I know having a girl growing inside of me has really rocked my world the last few weeks. The emotional roller coaster has been INSANE! I’m sure everyone around me has felt it. So I tried to relax in a bath and that was a disaster. Did you miss that post? Honestly, baths are stupid. I really don’t understand them. I KNOW I am not “doing them right” but how can one mess up bubbles and water? Plus, I’m so huge at this point, that my regular shower tub doesn’t allow for a full submersion that I probably needed. And apparently, I need a bath pillow. What is that anyway? I mean, these days, I sleep with at least 5 king sized pillows and my pregnancy pillow so you would think I would be all in for this bath tub pillow but that just seems weird to me. I tried to have fun (hence the boat picture) and “figure it out” but it didn’t work. I’ll probably try again in 5 years – that’s about how often I attempt these things.

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Next up is vacation! Ladies and gentlemen, that is for an entire blog post on it’s own! So stay tuned for a vacation post soon! I will say I have never been so exhausted from a vacation in my entire life.

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So, let’s get to the point of the point: Madison Grace Webking

Is it a family name? Nope. Unless there is something I don’t know.

How did you come up with the name? Frankly, Madison was named by her daddy. Nick and I had been thinking of names for awhile. Well, let me back up!

We were initially going to WAIT to find out the gender until delivery BUT when we had all the scary stuff happen at 16 weeks, my heart couldn’t take it. I needed to know in case, well, to be honest, in case we had to bury this baby. 

Fast forward. We liked Madison almost instantly. It was like love at first sight. It was awesome. But I was hesitant about liking her name so fast. I don’t know why. There is just one baby (unlike the last time) and so naming HER is so final to me. Nick and I had the names of the boys by mid-pregnancy BUT we didn’t actually name the boys until we saw them. I had an idea of who would take each name but I didn’t have to make that decision until we saw them! So this time it’s so different for me mentally. Anyway, it’s probably silly but it is what it is. Her middle name, Grace, honestly came from Google. Haha! We knew we wanted a shorter middle name because it just sounded better with Madison. We did have an initial list of names from when we were pregnant with the boys and had revisited it several times this pregnancy but nothing really stood out. Madison wasn’t even on the list. We came across Ryan, Kate and Grace and liked them all. We love Ryan for a girl or boy name but just didn’t work well with Madison – we thought. We were left with Kate and Grace. We were loving both. However, Grace was also a practical choice. Almost verbatim Nick says “I think we should pick Grace because we are going to need it when she comes.” So there you have it! Her beautiful name. I can’t wait to meet her.

Here’s to Madison Grace,

Rachel

P.S. Another blog post coming up are my thoughts on the NICU – lately my mind has been fearing the NICU experience again. So stay tuned. It’s coming soon.

The sacrifices we make

and sometimes it really sucks…

Well this week was my BIG check up. So many questions…. Did the hematoma start dissolving? How’s my placenta? Is the baby growing okay? Can I go on my trip to Usborne’s convention? Can I go to Gulf Shores for a week with my family? To be honest, I wasn’t completely convinced I would even get a small bit of good news. I know, I know. So pessimistic. But seriously, my last two appointments haven’t been so great.

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Here’s us leaving that regular urine sample and about to start my gestational diabetes test. Goodness I am nervous about the results! So stay tuned for that.

So let’s get to it….

The hematoma: still there. What does that mean? I’m still at risk for bleeding. So continued restrictions. Strike one.

The cord issue: well it’s permanent but the baby is growing fantastic! So currently the cord isn’t causing any issues. Ball one.

The placenta: IT MOVED! So it’s no longer considered an issue. Whoop! Ball two.

Can I travel to convention for Usborne Books & More June 7th-11th? Hesitation. Strike two.

Can I travel to Gulf Shores with my family June 17-24th? Hesitation. Strike three.

I’m out.

Although I couldn’t be happier for a healthy baby at this point, I’m pretty sad, disappointed, angry and frustrated. Let me explain why the hesitation.

I’m high risk. Well, that alone pretty much seals the deal. Once you’re labeled high risk, it’s pretty much over. Because ANYTHING can happen at ANY time. I was labeled high risk with the twins but it was ONLY because I was carrying twins. I, thankfully, didn’t have any complications with them and never carried them long enough to experience them. Can I go back in time and tell my former self to enjoy my previous pregnancy more? **regrets**

I’ve continued to have Braxton Hicks contractions. I’ve had contractions since about 16 weeks. Some stronger and longer than others. Some have put me out all day. The stress of traveling can prompt them along with dehydration. So my continued contractions could serve as an irritant to the hematoma and resume bleeding. Bleeding on a plane or somewhere not near my hospital is something that can potentially be problematic. Something that worries me.

I’m swelling. I started swelling with the twins pretty much around the same time. Seems like this time it’s a bit accelerated. Funny how the body remembers. 😫 When I was pregnant with the twins, I flew to Ohio (no hesitation from the doctor then) at 25 weeks. On the plane ride back, the pressure of being on the plane literally made my legs feel like they were going to explode. IT WAS AWFUL! Like so bad, we went from the plane to the hospital. So the doctor is worried a plane ride would enhance my issues.

Okay so drive, right? Wrong. When you are pregnant you are more at risk for clotting by sitting down for too long. So driving to Tulsa or to Gulf Shores would require a stop every 1-2 hours for bathroom and walking. In my case, I HAVE to drink a significant amount of water to keep the contractions at bay. If I don’t, I’m destined to have them. And my bladder is a trampoline to the little lady so forget holding anything. Did you know holding your urine too long while your pregnant can cause contractions? Yes and I’ve definitely found this true.

So what’s my point besides a large bitch session here on my blog? Well, I’ll be the first to admit I have control issues. Overtime I’ve learned, especially with the twins, to let things go. But I felt so out of control when I was pregnant with the twins. From being pregnant for the first time to personal issues making it challenging, I felt absolutely 100% out of control of pretty much anything. So, with this one, I thought, just maybe I would have some control. Or at least be too busy to really wallow in not having any.

I sincerely thank the Lord for being so busy with the twins but this is my time to wallow. To be sad. To be angry. Why? Well, that trip to convention was FOR ME. It’s something I have been planning on for a YEAR. It’s something I know I needed for myself and my business. It completely and utterly sucks I can’t go. I’ve spent money on travel, accommodations and registration. 😭 And that trip with the family, well, who wouldn’t want to spend a week in Gulf Shores? Maybe I would look like a beached whale but the memories I wanted to make with my kids there is something I won’t get, not right now anyway. Sucks!

I know and realize when you are pregnant you become an incubator and subject to the wants and needs to this tiny human you’re making. I get it. I don’t like it but I get it. And I’m mad.

I am mad for feeling like this again, for being terrible at giving life to another human being, for being, yet again, not blessed to be a woman who can do all things during pregnancy like workout, eat clean, play all day with their kids, etc. 

I literally give up everything I wanted this summer for you little girl. I know you will be worth it in the end. I know it’s not just a cliché but it sucks so bad right now. I’m sad right now. I’m wishing things were different right now. I wish pregnancy for me didn’t require giving up EVERYTHING to keep you safe. But it’s what I have to do.  It’s not what I want to do and quite frankly I haven’t stopped crying about it today.

But it’s the sacrifices we make as mothers even before you enter this world that help us become better mothers.image

Precious one, I don’t know who you will turn out to be but I know I’ll be better for this moment. It’s these moments God changes us for His will. I just wish it didn’t hurt so bad going through it.

 

Here’s to the sacrifices we make,

Rachel